Smile)))

  • Father of my children

    A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather hot blond behind him has just smiled "Hello" to him.

    He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him... and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from... so he says ..."Sorry....do you know me?"

    She replies... "I may be mistaken... but I thought you might be the father... of one of my children."

    His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap".... he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends.... while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"

    "No".... she replies..... "I'm your son's teacher."

  • Турнир. Стоит девушка с яблоком на голове. Первый лучник стреляет и попадает в яблоко. Кланяется зрителям:
    - I am Robin Good!
    Второй лучник стреляет и сбивает яблоко. Представляется зрителям:
    - I am Richard Lions Heart!
    Третий лучник промахивается и убивает девушку:
    - I am, I am... Sorry...

  • Как будет ОКРОШКА по-английски? - Oh, baby!))))))))))

  • "Bush's Winning Campaign Slogans"

    1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!

    2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.

    3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.

    4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?

    5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.

    6. I promise no sex scandal -- just look at me!

    7. New penal plan: I won't use mine!

    8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.

    9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers.

    10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense.

  • Her philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't

    Relax? How can I relax? My relaxation tips are in my day planner!

    Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important."
    - Lisa Hoffman

  • В центре Лондона встречаются два незнакомых друг с другом молодых человека.
    Один из них спрашивает: What clock? Другой отвечает: Six watch.
    Первый удивляется: Such much? А второй возражает: To whom how.
    И тут первого осеняет: Ты, что ли, тоже в московском Инъязе учился?

  • Try tomate walking in a steet:mama-tomate, papa-tomate and beiby-tomate.
    beiby-tomate lagged behind.Papa-tomate very angry, come back him, push him and has told
    -Do not lag behind, ketchup
    шутка из фильма "Крименальное чтиво"

  • Are you tired? Cause you have been running through my mind for the whole day!

  • If ifs and ands were pots and pans

  • В центре Лондона встречаются два незнакомых друг с другом молодых человека.
    Один из них спрашивает: What clock? Другой отвечает: Six watch.
    Первый удивляется: Such much? А второй возражает: To whom how.
    И тут первого осеняет: MGU finished?
    - Ask!