from aperreat@saunix.sau.edu:
Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you would offend the person standing near you?...NOT. Well, if you are, then here are some alternatives to some popular phrases.
I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one.
She is not: An airhead She is: Reality Impaired
She is not: A Bleached Blond She is: Peroxide Dependant
She is not: A babe or chick She is: A Breasted American
She does not have: Major league hooters She is: Pectorally Superior
She does not have: A Great Tan She is: Pigmentally Enhanced
You do not want to: Score or pick her up You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter
She is not: A perfect 10 She is: Numerically Superior
She does not have: A great butt She has: A Superior Posterior
If she does not want to get: Married or hitched She does not want: Domestic Incarceration
She is not: Half naked She is: Wardrobe Impaired
She does not have: A perfect body She is: Anatomically Gifted
She is not: Drunk or tipsy She is: Chemically Inconvenienced
She is not: Small or short She is: Vertically Challenged