1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Absolute vodka
Sample the Absolute to check quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Absolute again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar, beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Absolute is still OK, try another cup, just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy, break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in 1 cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor... mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Absolut to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Absolute. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Absolute and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. CHERRY MISTMAS!!!!!!